Gifts

Last Sunday I went to visit my mum.  I’m a pretty terrible daughter because before then I hadn’t seen my mum since Christmas (but I really am really busy doing things all the time, excuses, excuses).  Whenever I do call my mum (not that often) conversation usually descends into petty arguments, with her telling me off for having not called her and for working too hard.  I know it’s because she cares, as I said I’m a terrible daughter.

Anyway, I think she must have wanted to build bridges because on Saturday morning I received a package in the post… my mum, completely out of the blue, had sent me a SKIRT with a note enclosed saying “Saw this and thought of you. Any chance of a visit soon? Lots of love, Mum xxx”.  As you can imagine I felt immensely guilty and booked a train ticket to visit the next day.

It made me think about gift giving and communication.  When you know someone as well as you know your own mum, you know that a skirt in the post is code for ‘I’m not angry with you, I just miss you’.  I also know that her buying me lunch means ‘are you eating enough?’, ‘do you have enough money?’, ‘I don’t care how old you are, I’m still your mum’.

I think gifts are often a starting point for dialogue - like when you're staying in a hotel & you find an origami towel or a chocolate on your pillow as a reminder that some kind soul changed your sheets earlier and would very much like a tip.  Gifts can also to be insulting (a poorly worded offer of a mint), demeaning or fuelled by guilt (I won’t offer any personal examples).

My favourite gifts are those unexpected gifts which completely charm you.  I used to have a next door neighbour called Norman who would take my bins out every week – it was months before my housemates and I cottoned-on.  I also very much enjoyed arriving at work this morning to see that someone had left a mini chocolate egg on everyone's desk.

I'll take this opportunity to thank Greenroom for the strawberries, cakes and jelly beans.

Happy Easter.

Jen x